Brainstorm

At this point, I realy think that Howard Dean is what is expecially needed now to pull the Democrat party together. He is like THE missing piece of the Democratic puzzle and if he seizes history by the horns he could totaly usher in a Democratic super majority.

I hope he comes through

Public (Community) Service (Part 3)

n the other hand I dont want STNB(B) blog necessarily become a single issue blog (I mean like a blog explaining "how to" on everything) but like I said it was a good idea. So now here is the next installment on how to love a woman.

HOW TO LOVE A WOMAN

• In learning how to love a woman it is important to determine first, what you mean by love a woman. For instance: if by "love a woman" you mean "bone a woman", you need to be able to spend moderate amounts of money on her (butter her up, etc). Also you could just get her drunk which might not cost as much.

• It is also important to determine before hand who the woman is that your going to love. You need to know if she is in your class, or in where you work. Is she just that one hot chick that is always wearing short biker shorts when she walks her dog every morning at 8am or is she a hot blog chick like that one RIght Wing Sparkle babe? Each circumstances require a different aproach/finesse.
  

• When you work out the logistics of how to get close to a woman depending on her situation (see #2) it is important to butter her up as mentioned in #1. Also remember by "butter her up" I mean in a figurative sense (not literal) unless she is some kind of freak which would be wicked awesome. BTW where does one find a woman like that?

• The most common tool for buttering up a woman is buy her flowers. I can not stress enough that this is a mistake. Flowers are a major comitment for a women. Women in today's world are super busy with jobs and careers and being hot, etc. They dont need the extra work / frustration with being saddled with just another plant to take care of, water, etc. Plus flowers dont last. On the other hand, did you ever know a woman who didnt think puppies are cute? Take that as a cue. Bonus: they dont have to water a puppy as much as flowers.
  

• If you are out with her or havent got to that base or are still working on your approach it is important to not get caught looking in her purse. As all guys know, every one wonders what hot chicks carry in their purse. Its usually a tin of altoids, lots of pens, makeup, chick wallet and sometimes one of those cigars that are wrapped in white paper and crimp at the end. Most women smoke these cigars but are realy shamed by it so you almost never see them do it.

• Ask her out on a date because: A. That shows her you are in to her (again, in the figurative sense only btw) 2. Usualy when other women see you with a woman they equate that with your desirable, hence even if you dont score rigt away with her, you might score with someone who saw you, and C. you might see someone you know who totaly didnt believe that you went out with a woman. This is proof.

• In harken back to #1 above, dont spend to much money on a date with her unless she is real hard to get drunk. If you go all out it will be a expectation for sub-sequent dates and if you dont up the anty you seriously blow your chances to score.

• It is important to tell her early and often that you love her. Most chicks enter a relation ship with the misguided notion that the guy just wants to bone her. If you tell her you love her then she will let her guard down, which drasticaly improves your chances of scoring. The best way to remeber this tip is: "She doesnt care if you mean it, she just wants to hear you say it".

• NEVER, under any circumstances EVER refer to her vag as a minge. It was awsome on South Park but their is no way to talk about it (minge) that is not awkward. If it comes up (minge) try to work it into the conversation in a context of innocent, subtel innuendo. For instance, in that one movie, they called it (minge) "the whispering eye". That sounds mysterious/exotic which chicks totaly dig.

• If / when you score, try too have video set up before hand because: A. The guys arent going to believe it otherwise, B. You might need it for evidence that your love was consentual and D. when you break up it makes a real good keep sake. Also be sure too send her a copy regardless if you break up or not.
  

Cross Post at Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine Blog

This ad (vertisement) was just cross posted at Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine blog:

There's going to be a book soon about not trusting Kevin LaFontaine. I predict
it will be a best seller. In order to get that project off the ground, I am
going to need the services of an illustrator (who draws pictures).

Position: Illustrator for planned Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine Book

Hours: Negotiable but hurry up

Salary: Nothing up front but
maybe I can spot you a twenty down the road when this book is rocketing up the
charts


If you are a illustrator or can draw good pictures about
reasons to not trust Kevin LaFontaine (many of which are listed here) then you
should totally contact me because this is going to be BIG TIME.

More Community Service(s)

So I was totaly going to put up a post (blog) about How To Love A Woman which was a excellent sugestion by a ANONymous comenter here but while I was looking at information about how people are finding this (STNB(B) blog I found that another search: "What happens when a man jacks off" brought someone here.

Naturally I woudl like to be ranked higher with the "what-happens-when-a-man-jacks-off" demographic because STNB(B) blog is rapidly becoming more than just a think-tank for stopping neocons. It has become a really information clearing house. And progressive.

So as a educational service, here is what happens when a man jacks off.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MAN JACKS OFF

• 0:00-2:00 minutes: While browsing a "I can has cheeseburger" affiliated blog you see a sexily clad woman in a ad on the left side. Your brain makes you go and check out Sports Illustraded Extra Mustard because there are always lots of hot chick pictures there.
• 2:00-2:35 minutes: You discover that the cheerleader of the week, a rockin' hot girl named Lindsay Jacki has big bushy eyebrows not far removed from John Madden so you visit a internet pr0n site (not linked here...STNB(B) is a family blog)
• 2:35-3:15 minutes: You find your regular fall-back pr0n site and then while the video is loading, you take the dog out because the dog always interrupts.
• 3:15-4:00 minutes: You settle into your chair and loosen your belt. Then the phone rings, which totaly blows your pr0n buzz.
• 4:00-4:20 minutes: Doorbell.
• 4:20-5:20 minutes: You totaly have full-on wood.
• 5:20-5:50 minutes: Your hearing shuts down completely and your heart rate increases.
• 5:50-6:15 minutes: Because your now deaf you dont hear your mom come in the front door and you dont hear the sound of grocery bags being unloaded in your kitchen.
• 6:15-6:45 minutes: Your eyelids start to flutter and you focus your concentration into a narrow beam. Incidentaly this is where the term: "Keep Your Eyes On The Prize" comes from.
• 6:45-6:55 minutes: You fail to notice the faint knock followed by creaking sound of your bedroom door slowly opening.
• 6:55-7:05 minutes: You totally make a mess all over everything which seems okay at the time but when your cleaning up you always miss something and THAT is why you dont let your room mate use your computer. Also your hearing comes back and you hear a loud scream.
• 7:05-7:35 minutes: You order your mom out of your room because she didnt even knock.
• 7:35-next time: Your super embarassed because you always told your mom you dont do that. Also sometimes it may not be your mom. It could be worse (room mate, grandma, Kevin LaFontaine). You admit that you might have a problem and thing about getting some help but in the end its not worth the extra embarassment (seeing a psychiatrist, urologist, etc) of telling someone you did that. It is important for your psychological well-being to be consistent with your message that it wasnt what they think they saw. Remember deny, deny and deny.
• next time-forever: Although you swore to lock your door you will always forget to.

Community Service

I was reviewng information from this blog (Stop The Neocons Blog (Blog) about where people came from to get here and I discovered that one visitor to this blog got here by doing a google search about: "How to forget a woman".

Imagine to my dismay h ow I learned that this blogs tips on how to forget a woman wasnt even mentioned until page 86 of the results (in google search). So in a effort to help that segment of the population forget their woman and boost STNB blogs standing with the forget-a-woman demographic I am publishing this list of ways to forget a woman.

HOW TO FORGET A WOMAN

1. Get a little address book and put all of her information (name address phone number) in it because you always lose your address book.
2. Put her name on your calendar on her birthdate because its real easy to forget to flip the calendar pages at the start of every month and before you know it you are losing a whole month. Like if you look at my wall calendar right now, it still says Febuary.
3. You know that song that was playing on the radio that made her make out with you extra hard? Dont listen to it any more. Get a good angry song to replace it (like almost anything by Chris Caffery).
4. If you drive by her house every night after school or work to see if she is there or probaly at that other dudes house again, try to only drive by 5 times or less. Also dont park across the street. It bring up hurtful memories and may cause someone to think you are casing her joint.
5. By the same token if you know of a good tree to see into her back yard or upstairs window, remember that trees are hard to get out of in a hurry if the cops show up.
6. Start a blog not about her. For example: If you are trying to forget Jen, start a blog with any title but below the header put "this blog is not about Jen".
7. Prostitutes may help you forget about the woman you are trying to forget but skid row cooties lasts a long time and its not worth seeing your name on the news if you totaly get busted by SLCPD vice. On the other hand, prostitution is legal in Nevada.
8. If you have any pictures of her, throw them away but if you have pictures of her showing her rockin' tits or even ample cleavage please post here in comments or email them to me.
9. If you ever took a shower at her place content yourself with the knowledge that you pissed in her shower and she still doesnt even know. Thats a win for you but dont tell her because it will freak her out.
10. Try to only call her two or three times a day. Any more than that is weird and wont help you forget her any time soon.

Pirates

You know that one pirate that President Obama didn't kill?

I think he should be brought to America and not tortured. Also think he should be doing some jail time then be given a education / trade skills and sent back to Somalia because are jails are full.

Blog Title Change

Just a note: I changed the title of this Blog (Stop The Neocons Blog) to reflect that it is not 2008 any more which is in the past. Also clarification that it is a actual blog, per say.

Tammy Bruce: Gun Nut, or Illegitimate Poseur?

Look at the picture below:

The photo which appears on teh Tammy Bruce web site and on her twitter profile is calculated to portray her as a conservative champion of both talk radio and the second amendment. A new media renegade whose outer appearance "at the table" suggests that she is open to discussion, but who keeps her arms turned in toward the body subconsciously projecting a closed mind.

And the gun: an attempt to solidify her true conservative credentials. Convincing on the surface but upon closer inspection it becomes clear that the woman does not know how to handle a weapon.

Is it not a basic tennet of firearm safety that one should keep ones finger off the trigger until one is ready to pull it? Does any reasonable and sane firearm owner NOT cringe upon seeing her finger not just resting on the trigger, but curled around it? To portray herself as a gun person and then to allow herself to be photographed handling one so casually, so negligently, so dangerously is highly damaging to her credibility as a gun enthusiast.

The verdict? Poseur.

Regardless, I dont listen to talk radio. I just report what I see.

Breaking News

I survived. I totaly got some pictures of some protest babes too. Check them out!!11







Also their is some videos here that may purport to show me IRL at around the 31 second mark maybe and possibly again at 1:17.

Probaly last post before I am going to die

Well the fatefull day is probaly here and as promised I am going to crash the SLC tea party protest.

My prospects for surviving this blood orgy dont look so good right now, especiall in light of this report from are department of homeland security. I am going into the (metaphorical) lions den (so to speak) from whence I will probalby not return. I am comforted, however in the knowing that yeah, although I walk into the neocon blood orgy of death I shall fear no evil because the light of progressive truth is with me.

If you are a neocon planning to be there today (SLC teaparty protest) and you plan to jump me, be warne that I will totaly kick the first three asses that try to kill me. After that I will probaly be too tired to fight back anymore and will submit to martyrdom with honor and dignity.

Damn teapartyers anyways, with there guns and religion and domestic beers and copenhagen snuff.


In the likely event that I dont return, I dont want MEANOL'MEANY to take over my (Stop The NEocons 2009 blog) blog. Hes probaly the one who is going to try and kill me first.


PS. Kevin LaFontaine is still a dick.

Manse!!1

Great news: Songun Blog guy is still alive!! Finally a voice to ring out beyond the neocon controlled white-noise machine that is the US media.

This is what they (neocons) dont want you to know.

Everybody's Dumb But Me

I can not stress it enough. It is important for us like-minded progressives (like us) to all get be on the same page with our message. Its frustrating because so many of them (us) are for some reason given to individual idea thoughts etc. In order for the movement to go forward, all progressives need to fall in line with the collective message and not be given to individual thinking (w/out talking points on hand)(memorized, etc).

Like this weekend I spent a lot of time on Twitter and while the neocons were all there usual irrational and hatefull selfs, the progressives (all of us like minded, btw) seemed unorganized and way to individualistic for our own good. I submit the following exchanges as proof:

Dean04PrezLooking for stats re: number of people arrested at all previous #teaparty 's vs number of progressives arrested at RNC last year #tpot #p2

Dean04PrezOur jails and prisons must be crammed by now with deranged #teaparty types, considering we've already survived several dozen #tcot #tpot #p2

Dean04PrezProgressive fear of the #teaparty movement must therefore be based on what we have already observed: uncontrolled violence. #tcot #tpot #p2

Dean04PrezHow about an example easier to research: Total #teaparty arrests nationwide vs Total antiwar arrests in Petaluma in 3/2006. #tpot #tcot #p2

No replies. I mean ALL like minded progressives know that these so-call Tea-Party protests have been veritable blood orgies but when examined from a reality based community point of view you have to ask: "what good does it does to say things like this and not be able to provide sources?" So if any one (readers) can forward this information I will get it to people that matters (daily kos, Matthew Yglesias, etc).

Then theres this:

Dan_Schwartz: Obama brother accused of attempting to do to woman what Clinton actually did to Juanita Broderick http://bit.ly/r52Dc #tcot #sgp

Dean04Prez@Dan_Schwartz Only if you count a 13 year old girl as "a woman"

Dan_Schwartz@Dean04Prez Then who speaks for her victim? Dead is dead, no matter if the murderer is a teenager, a gang banger, or elderly #tcot

I was like "huh?" Then I remembered he was probaly a neocon and did not understand:

Dean04Prez@Dan_Schwartz You misunderstood. Samson Obamas alleged victim was a 13 yr old girl. Should we characterize a child as a woman? #tcot

Because facts were facts and Samson Obama was banned from (not so)Great Britian for alleged molesting a child. Not a woman.

Then it was like:

Dean04Prez@janehamsher Care to comment re: your info source for claiming foxnews funding of #teaparty movement yet? #tcot

Because the neocons are totaly trashing her for alleged ducking a question. I was hoping to help disseminate her message / wisdom, etc. No Reply.

Then this happened: President Obama, the brilliant statesman, military tactician and renowned oratorical master orchestrated the daring Navel raid on those pirates who had that one dude kidnapped:

TPO_Hisself: @Num3r1cal how much ransom was paid to the terrorists tho?

The implication of said statement being that the daring commando raid amounted to little more than a attempt to pay a bounty, so I interjected (highlight was my interjeculation):

Dean04PrezRT @TPO_Hisself: @Num3r1cal how much ransom was paid to the terrorists tho? From the looks of it, 1-3 bullets per pirate. #tcot #tpot #p2

Because spectacular Obama style military operations could ONLY result in a staggering, one-sided victory for the side armed first and foremost with PROGRESSIVE IDEALS.

Then next thing I know I saw:

meanolmeany Wow, I have made three comments to Libtards and got TWO blocks. They are terrified of being proven worng. #tcot

And I was instantly like:

Dean04Prez@meanolmeany BLOCKED!

Because he is a troll. Then I said something like:

Captain Phillips jumping into the drink and giving the SEALS a chance to take out the pirates: Perfectly orchestrated by Obama #tcot #tpot

And my new twitter friend was all:

capecodgurl@Dean04Prez It is amazing that they gave you the details of the operation. So far they are not release..you must be a really TCOT.

At first I was thinkgin: "Yeah, I am in the know, so to speak." But then I realized she called me a conservative which is way out of line. So I'm like:

@capecodgurl All I know is what little info the government has released. Have you read the press releases yet?

And she is all:

@Dean04Prez uh Huh..we know the Capt jumped. Nothing more about the details and the SEALS role...other than the ending.

@Dean04Prez They are now reporting that Navy shortened towline, pirates came out, snipers killed them THEN Capt Jumped. wait for the facts.

So in a spirit of mutual information sharing I provided the link which incidentally appears to show that HER summarization of the video was close, what was missing (no doubt because of character limit) was that her information was based on incomplete reporting and selective editing from the neocon controlled media:

@capecodgurl http://tinyurl.com/ch9zwd <---Source

Then later she is all like:

@capecodgurl Who's in charge of the military? Who gives ths kind of high level order? Wld the military EVER act w/out Com.in Chief ok? #TCOT

And I reply:

@capecodgurl Actually, the ranking officer on scene is "in charge" and generally has authority to act under certain circumstances. #tcot

Even though it is already established that President Obama single-handedly orchestrated the most daring and spectacular military operation since those German guys rescued them Jewish athletes from somewhere. I was nothing, if not helpfull. Then the neocon trolls came in and were like:

Katsuey@Dean04Prez wasn't that nice of pres. pantywaist? of course it was AFTER Phillips tried to rescue himself the first time #tcot

Which is completely unreasonable (I will cover that in a few paragraphs). I parried:

@Katsuey I am stuck at work and unable to watch the news live. So from what I read, Obama took the safe route and decisively reaffirmed SOP.

@Katsuey It was a stellar display of bravery on his part

Which totaly shot down that argument. So then I said:

Remember. All criticism of Obama: unfair & unfounded. All criticism of Bush: moderate, reasoned & appropriate. #tcot

Then here what gets me: Another fellow like-minded progressive (alot like me) thought *I* was trolling! Its way frustrating.

forklifter@Dean04Prez exactly true #tcot sheep, bush had 8 years to screw up everything, obama has been president for 11 weeks. no comparison dip

So I'm like: "DUDE, THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!! But I said it like this:

@forklifter Agreed. Criticism of Obama during his first 3months NOTHING like Bush (conspiracy theories re:stolen election) first 3 months.

No reply.

And that is why I am convince that in the end, everyone is dumb but me. Its realy hard work sometimes being the progressive voice of reason.

President Obama's half brother a sex pervert?

I dont think so.

These are dangerous lies. Propagated by an increasingly bitter and jaded extremist right. Nothing is sacred to these people. How could they attack someone based on the actions of extended family members?

It is outrageous that we are even talking about something like this happening. Where is there (neocon) spirit of forgiveness? Of fair play?

We )progressives) dont start stories like this regardng politicians on the right, so why do they insist on doing it to politicians on our side?

Unconscionable.

Also, thank God the Palins are out of the national spotlight. What an embarassment they are.

Reminder

As I said before, I plan on crashing the SLC Tea Party protest on Wednesday (15th)(April).

Its real scary walking into the lions den (rhetorical) with these far-right, anti-American extremists who its not bad enough that there irresponsibly exercising there freedom of speech, freedom of peaceably assembly but they may very well choose to exercise there freedom of owning lots of guns.

In which case I expect to be martyred because neocons totaly dont tolerate progressives (like myself) and can smell us from a mile away because we (progressives) dont smell like skoal and michelob.

Not a Bow

It was NOT a bow.

I dont know what it was but it was clearly NOT a bow.


UPDATE: Its not like it was in Superman 2 when the president actually kneeled to General Zod. It wasnt nearly that bad. And it wasnt a bow.

UPDATE 2: Anyways whats so wrong about bowing to a king?

Rhetorical

How many IPods for heads of state could that $50,000 we gave to Italy (for earthquake relief) have purchased?

Opportunities lost? Time will tell.

Glen Becks Insidious Grip on Right Wing Nutjobs Knows No Bounds

h/t "Gateway Pundit"

It happened in Turkey apparently:

Istanbul, 6 April (AKI) - As United States president Barack Obama began an
official visit to Turkey on Monday, reports surfaced that a Syrian man was
arrested in Istanbul in connection with a plot to kill him. The man - who sought
to disguise himself as a journalist for the Arab TV network Al-Jazeera - managed
to obtain press accreditation and allegedly planned to stab the US president
with a knife, said Saudi daily al-Watan.

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Newt Gingrich, Fred Thompson. They all share culpability in this one!

Greatest video ever

Austrian Language

Look, its a easy mistake to make if you look at it. Austrian language is almost the same as ours but there inflections and accents are way off. For example:

We say: "Good afternoon, kind sir"
They say: "G'day Mate"

We say: "Lest burn some hotdogs on the grill"
They say: "Put another shrimp on the barbie"

We say: "Too legit. Too legit to quit!"
They say: "Tie me kangaroo down, sport."

As you can see, are language makes perfect sense. Austrian language is just a hodge-podge of English words tied together in no discernable order. So its a easy mistake to make, and one could argue not a mistake at all.

Just Thinking

I think we (aAmerica) would have a greater air of statesmanship and knowledge if top hats came back into fashion. Because what do you think when you see a man wearing a tophat? YOu think: Now THEREs a diplomat.

Refresher

Again, I'm not Jake Tapper. Remeber that.

Notable missing from The Queens I-Pod

I notice ont he list of tunes are President gave to the Queen (of England) on her IPod there is some notable omissions:

• Nothing from Culture Club which was the biggest band ever from (not so) Great Britain
• Nothing from Slade which featured the one guy who went on to ACDC

I'm not sure what other bands came from (not so) great Britian, probaly nothing significant. But in order to promote more better (not so) great British understand of American culture, I would sugest the Queen download the following songs from limewire (or somewhere else)(it can be free if she knows where to look):

• "Symphony of Destruction" by Metallica
• "Monday Night Football theme" by Hank Williams (I forget which one. Are we on Hank Williams II or III or IV now?)
• "MmmmBop" by Hanson (Still a great song after all these years)
• "Liar" by Rollins Band (featuring that dude from the movie with the other guy from Bill & Ted)
• "Humpty Hump" by one of those DJs that use to wear big clocks and a big fake nose
• Some thing about Cop Killas by Ice-T
• "Beer Barrel Polka" by Weird Al Yankovic
• That Quiet Riot song where the dude sings " I wanna kiss her lips not the ones on her face"
• "Ballad of Snoopy vs The Red Baron" by the QUeens Repulbican Guard
  
• "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" by Leonard Nimoy (original Spock)
  

I dont thing we need to start another charitable vendture because all these songs can be got for free from the internet but she (Queen) should totaly look into these classics of American music.

ADDITION: Also if the Queen of wanted, if she got one of those new IPods that show movies and pictures etc, she could totaly put some pr0n on it too.

Caught Up

Im sorry I just got caught up in the season (April 1st season).

That was way cool.

O G M

AH Hahahahahaha

Om My GOSH! I cant beleive I totaly got you all! AHhahaahaha

That was awesome! I am laughting so hard (on the inside) right now! Hahaha


Dont you know its April Fools day? Hahahha

I'm totaly going to share some of my hate mail later tonight when I am done reading it. Their is tons atm. Hahaha

Confessional

I can't continue the charade any longer.

As a libertarian leaning conservative, writing as a brain-dead champion of liberalism is mentally exhausting. Unless you give it a whirl, you can not understand how difficult it is to take things you believe in and then shout out, at the top of your lungs the exact opposite. I've become so practiced at misspelling certain words, and using other correctly spelled words in the wrong context that when writing reports at work, I've caught myself narrating as Dean04Prez.

The truth?

I'm a married, veteran, 30-something correctional Sergeant with a degree in criminal justice and sociology. My earliest recollection of having any interest in politics was of standing in the rain for four hours, in a crowd of thousands hoping to just catch a glimpse of President Ronald Reagan who for whatever reason, opted to give a speech in Hooper, Utah.

Incidentally, I'm told that I was deeply emotionally invested in the abortion issue at a much younger age, to the point where I stood up in a church class one day and announced: "Jimmy Carter kills babies". I honestly have no recollection of this, but having been told where and when it happened, I would have been around 5-6 years old. Funny. Now 30+ years later we have a new Jimmy Carter in office, who also supports killing babies.

I guess that makes me a racist. Right?

I think Clint Eastwood is the greatest actor of our time and Unforgiven is his greatest work. I drive a non-fuel efficient, gas guzzling, hemi-powered Dodge Charger, own numerous guns and still use environmentally unfriendly electric bulbs.

If pressed to name a person who is a "hero" to me, it would be Porter Rockwell. He "never killed anyone that didn't need killing."

I dabble in digital photography, listen to loud music and laugh myself dizzy watching South Park reruns and viral prank videos.

Thats the truth.

I'm also done blogging. It was fun for a while, but blogging as an idiot is too much work.

Ciao