Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Confessional

I can't continue the charade any longer.

As a libertarian leaning conservative, writing as a brain-dead champion of liberalism is mentally exhausting. Unless you give it a whirl, you can not understand how difficult it is to take things you believe in and then shout out, at the top of your lungs the exact opposite. I've become so practiced at misspelling certain words, and using other correctly spelled words in the wrong context that when writing reports at work, I've caught myself narrating as Dean04Prez.

The truth?

I'm a married, veteran, 30-something correctional Sergeant with a degree in criminal justice and sociology. My earliest recollection of having any interest in politics was of standing in the rain for four hours, in a crowd of thousands hoping to just catch a glimpse of President Ronald Reagan who for whatever reason, opted to give a speech in Hooper, Utah.

Incidentally, I'm told that I was deeply emotionally invested in the abortion issue at a much younger age, to the point where I stood up in a church class one day and announced: "Jimmy Carter kills babies". I honestly have no recollection of this, but having been told where and when it happened, I would have been around 5-6 years old. Funny. Now 30+ years later we have a new Jimmy Carter in office, who also supports killing babies.

I guess that makes me a racist. Right?

I think Clint Eastwood is the greatest actor of our time and Unforgiven is his greatest work. I drive a non-fuel efficient, gas guzzling, hemi-powered Dodge Charger, own numerous guns and still use environmentally unfriendly electric bulbs.

If pressed to name a person who is a "hero" to me, it would be Porter Rockwell. He "never killed anyone that didn't need killing."

I dabble in digital photography, listen to loud music and laugh myself dizzy watching South Park reruns and viral prank videos.

Thats the truth.

I'm also done blogging. It was fun for a while, but blogging as an idiot is too much work.

Ciao

8 comments:

Anon. said...

shit. dean04prez(not real name), someone's hacked into your account. For a moment I thought it's you, trying to pull our leg but the writing style is too different. If you can't get back into your own account, who'll stop the neocons now?

Anon.

stoorat said...

AAAUUGGHHHH!! Betrayal! And, as if it weren't bad enough to learn that you don't support killing babies, I'm forced to read that you ALSO USE INCANDESCENT BULBS?!

Your poignant, concise, and deadly accurate observations about the neocon world were a beacon of light in a cultural sea of darkness. Where will I find direction now? Who will tell me what I'm supposed to think about, y'know, stuff? How will I know which restrictive pieces of new legislation are for my own good, and which are just to line the pockets of fatcat DC insiders? Dean(NotJake), you can't just desert your disciples like this!



Oh wait, what day is it...



Hahahah you really had me going there, O Captian my Captain! I bet you had Kevin LaFontaine write up that conservatard hate-screed, right? Right?

RIGHT?!?

Two Dogs said...

Delinked.

Anon. said...

Look, it doesn't matter if you believe the stuff you've been writing up until now. What matters is that it's all true. So now you claim that you don't believe in it. That's like me saying I don't believe the earth is round'ish and think it's as flat as a car tire that's just run over a spiky cat and that all my talking about how it's round was just me being retarded. And that, btw, is all assuming we believe you were just pretending.

mack said...

I knew what you were doing all along. Which is why I dropped by. But I meant it when I said that your 'live blogging' about Earth Hour was hilarious. I laughed out loud. :)

NOTJakeTapper said...

April Fools day! Hahaaha

That was awsome!

Two Dogs said...

Wow, this is April 1st to you? I had no clue that you were a Zionist.

NOTJakeTapper said...

HAAAHAH Two Dogs I totaly got you! Your just mad becase you were like a sponge and my words were like water and you were totaly soaking them up

That was my greatest April Fool prank every!