Thursday, April 23, 2009

Community Service

I was reviewng information from this blog (Stop The Neocons Blog (Blog) about where people came from to get here and I discovered that one visitor to this blog got here by doing a google search about: "How to forget a woman".

Imagine to my dismay h ow I learned that this blogs tips on how to forget a woman wasnt even mentioned until page 86 of the results (in google search). So in a effort to help that segment of the population forget their woman and boost STNB blogs standing with the forget-a-woman demographic I am publishing this list of ways to forget a woman.

HOW TO FORGET A WOMAN
  1. Get a little address book and put all of her information (name address phone number) in it because you always lose your address book.
  2. Put her name on your calendar on her birthdate because its real easy to forget to flip the calendar pages at the start of every month and before you know it you are losing a whole month. Like if you look at my wall calendar right now, it still says Febuary.
  3. You know that song that was playing on the radio that made her make out with you extra hard? Dont listen to it any more. Get a good angry song to replace it (like almost anything by Chris Caffery).
  4. If you drive by her house every night after school or work to see if she is there or probaly at that other dudes house again, try to only drive by 5 times or less. Also dont park across the street. It bring up hurtful memories and may cause someone to think you are casing her joint.
  5. By the same token if you know of a good tree to see into her back yard or upstairs window, remember that trees are hard to get out of in a hurry if the cops show up.
  6. Start a blog not about her. For example: If you are trying to forget Jen, start a blog with any title but below the header put "this blog is not about Jen".
  7. Prostitutes may help you forget about the woman you are trying to forget but skid row cooties lasts a long time and its not worth seeing your name on the news if you totaly get busted by SLCPD vice. On the other hand, prostitution is legal in Nevada.
  8. If you have any pictures of her, throw them away but if you have pictures of her showing her rockin' tits or even ample cleavage please post here in comments or email them to me.
  9. If you ever took a shower at her place content yourself with the knowledge that you pissed in her shower and she still doesnt even know. Thats a win for you but dont tell her because it will freak her out.
  10. Try to only call her two or three times a day. Any more than that is weird and wont help you forget her any time soon.

4 comments:

Anon. said...

is that the voice of experience talking? It would help if you'd specify some of the things you discovered don't work.

Trenton Powers-Mellencamp said...

Its mostly experience but some common sense as well

Anon. said...

What about how to love a woman? Any advice?

Anon.

Trenton Powers-Mellencamp said...

Thast a good idea. I will work on that tomorrow