Monday, March 03, 2008

Epiphany (ong story, bear with me)

Let me preface this by mentoining it is sometimes behooves high profile blogers like myself to pour out are hearts into our blog because that is real good for blog world cred. Think about it.

Tonight as I was browsing throug some old blogs I came across a neocon blog that was talking about Barrick Obama. It (they) was all in a indignent tone (writing) talking about a quote that Obama had:

My job this morning is to be so persuasive…that a light will shine through that window, a beam of light will come down upon you, you will experience an epiphany, and you will suddenly realize that you must go to the polls and vote for Barack.

That quote (brillant oratoricalmanship to be honest) got me thinging about last time I had a epiphany. It went something like this:

I was in polsci 101 (politcal science 101) class (college class (community college)) and the discussion on that particular day was about the folly of Regans ludicrus economic policys (tirckle down theorys etc) and how they wrecked the USSR (selfishly) and set them back 20 years and only finaly coming back in to there own.

Anyways their was this chick in the class that had real great legs and a leather skirt and she was saying something (cant remember what). She was had like REALY dark hair and had those big ear rings (hoops). Which reminds me (not relevent to this story but interesting note), I touched her hair one time and she turned around and acted irritated but I was real smooth about it by pretending I was shuffling some papers. I think she bought it. But so after I touched her hair and things got back to normal I was smelling my fingers because I was curiuos if her hair scent would rub off on my fingers beause not only was she totaly hot, but she smelled like a angel. Kind of a melon and cucumber sent to be honest. I also found myself, like when she would go into her purse for gum or pens, etc, I would always be trying to steal a glance on what was in her purse. Because isnt that what you always wonder? What do totaly hot chicks carry in there purse?

Then I had my epiphany. I dont know how to decribe it other than it was a sudden realization about a great and momentous truth. Just like out of a bolt of the blue it struck me:

If I am so interested in about how this chick looks (great legs) and smells good and whats in her purse and how sometimes she stains a little lipstick on the rim of her coffee cup and you can see the natural indentations and ridges makeing up the natral structure of her lips (which were real full to), I just cant be gay.

Their is a real long story to that epiphany but it makes sense and it all goes back to this informative and well-written post by (my idle) Andrew Sullivan about "gay-chicken" in which guys almost kiss but then dont.

See their was this time in my youth when I some times had anger issues (dad isolated and neglectful emotional cripple and mom alcoholic) but I have addressed those greater issues in group. It was along time ago anyways, time to let bygones be bygones (2006). But their was this time wen I was in a confrontation with this dude (last name Jex....cant remeber first name but I use to call him Jacksoff hahah).

Anyways he (Jexoff) was real mad at me about something I said and he was all up in my face
and usally I didnt get into fights with people that were my fault. For instance their was this one time when another dude came to my house and told me to stop (alleged) harassing his sister (misunderstanding) and then wehn he left I lost my footing and accidentaly punched him in the back of the head (2005). But this guy (Jacksoff) wouldnt turn around and I am not the kind to back down (honor) so I stood my ground.

You know how some times in pro-wrestling the two guys who hate each other are in the wring and arguing and they keep getting closer and closer until there noses almost touch? Well that was what this situation was like. So the antagonist in this instance (Jex) (cant rremember his first name) was right in my face and yelling and I admittedly was yelling back and we just kept getting closer and closer (like in wrestling) and then I dont know what came over me but are lips accidentaly touched for just a split second and but he kept arguing so I dont think he noticed as much as I did. Actually I think are lips probaly accidentaly touched three times but the last time it was becasue someone pushed me into him.

Also let me point out as stated in the body of my epiphany (in bold and italiacs above), I am not gay.

Anyways, that post my the great Andrew Sullivan yesterday brought it all home. See, its not like a couple accidental kisses with a guy (in a argument) makes some one gay. It was just a real heated game of Gay Chicken.


stoorat said...

I know exactly how you must feel, Dean04Prez (not your real name). I was utterly crushed (emotion) when I first discovered that I wasn't gay, and I'm still dealing with guilt to this day (night) about it.

Have you tried putting up a large poster of John Edwards over your bed so that it's the last thing you see as you go to sleep and the first thing you see when you wake up? I've read (internet) about several formerly hetero people who used this approach to great effect. They are now, much to my envy (jealous) as queer as plaid rabbits.

Dean04Prez (back again) said...

Well the thing is is I was'nt 'crushed' about it per say. Rather it was a sense of relief because even tho gaiety is on the cutting end of progressive-ism and lots of like minded folks like myself are in to it, their was naturally some reservations about it.

Okay I kissed the one guy three times then their was the thing on grad night (another long story) which generaly left me feeling hole (complete). But living in fear or like in a closet of emotions is hard and thinkig mom by go back to the bottle if I brought some one home is a powerful fear.

But those concerns was all adressed when I had my epiphany.

Two Dogs said...

Come on, man, embrace it, you going to let your mother tell you who to sleep with?

The Edwards poster is a great idea.

Dean04Prez (back again) said...

But you =are forgetting the point of the whole epiphany which is Im not gay because I think hot chicks are hot.

Two Dogs said...

You kissed a dude, dude.

Dean04Prez (back again) said...


Cant put it much more clearer than that.

Besides, kissnig a guy doesn't make some one gay

stoorat said...

What makes someone gay then? I'm asking for...uh...a friend who wants to know.

Dean04Prez (back again) said...

What makes some one gay is the whole mystery. Is it there nature or is it nurtured in there up bringing?