Again Let Search Engine Results Steer Topics (Here)

Apparently neocons are having problems geting jobs now that Bush is out of the whitehouse. As evidence I have is that one neocon found this blog by searching: "Right Wing Nut Jobs". And instead of going to monster.com or craigslist he came here. So hear are some suggestions for jobs for right wing nuts:

• Landscaping: Perfect for right wing nuts because they dont have to be able to read. Just work a shovel and maybe promote to lawn mower.
• Steel: Any thing you have to work with steel to do is perfect for right wing nuts. They call it fabricating because that sounds like a skill but its really just means building things. Anyone can do that. Plus the steel industry is being increasingly gay friendly to which all right wing nuts can appreciate.
• Food Services: Because they have no skills or education, food services (Burger Kings) are perfect for right wing nuts. Not only can they get by without reading but theirs no math involved either. They just have to know what a burger looks like and push the coresponding button on the cashier screen. Counting is a plus. Also if their is a tragic grease accident, its no big deal because its just another right wing nut.
• Cops: The cops are a great place for right wing nuts because they get to play with guns which right wing nuts love to do. The downside and reason they shouldnt be given jobs here is that cops are always visible and when they beat up on minoritys its all over the news and people think that there representaive of our population as a whole.
• Tammy Bruce: Shes a poser and a right wing nut. Anyone could be her.

I hope this helps. Its not all the way comprehensive but should help steer some right wing nuts into jobs.

Public (Community) Service (Part 3)

n the other hand I dont want STNB(B) blog necessarily become a single issue blog (I mean like a blog explaining "how to" on everything) but like I said it was a good idea. So now here is the next installment on how to love a woman.

HOW TO LOVE A WOMAN

• In learning how to love a woman it is important to determine first, what you mean by love a woman. For instance: if by "love a woman" you mean "bone a woman", you need to be able to spend moderate amounts of money on her (butter her up, etc). Also you could just get her drunk which might not cost as much.

• It is also important to determine before hand who the woman is that your going to love. You need to know if she is in your class, or in where you work. Is she just that one hot chick that is always wearing short biker shorts when she walks her dog every morning at 8am or is she a hot blog chick like that one RIght Wing Sparkle babe? Each circumstances require a different aproach/finesse.
  

• When you work out the logistics of how to get close to a woman depending on her situation (see #2) it is important to butter her up as mentioned in #1. Also remember by "butter her up" I mean in a figurative sense (not literal) unless she is some kind of freak which would be wicked awesome. BTW where does one find a woman like that?

• The most common tool for buttering up a woman is buy her flowers. I can not stress enough that this is a mistake. Flowers are a major comitment for a women. Women in today's world are super busy with jobs and careers and being hot, etc. They dont need the extra work / frustration with being saddled with just another plant to take care of, water, etc. Plus flowers dont last. On the other hand, did you ever know a woman who didnt think puppies are cute? Take that as a cue. Bonus: they dont have to water a puppy as much as flowers.
  

• If you are out with her or havent got to that base or are still working on your approach it is important to not get caught looking in her purse. As all guys know, every one wonders what hot chicks carry in their purse. Its usually a tin of altoids, lots of pens, makeup, chick wallet and sometimes one of those cigars that are wrapped in white paper and crimp at the end. Most women smoke these cigars but are realy shamed by it so you almost never see them do it.

• Ask her out on a date because: A. That shows her you are in to her (again, in the figurative sense only btw) 2. Usualy when other women see you with a woman they equate that with your desirable, hence even if you dont score rigt away with her, you might score with someone who saw you, and C. you might see someone you know who totaly didnt believe that you went out with a woman. This is proof.

• In harken back to #1 above, dont spend to much money on a date with her unless she is real hard to get drunk. If you go all out it will be a expectation for sub-sequent dates and if you dont up the anty you seriously blow your chances to score.

• It is important to tell her early and often that you love her. Most chicks enter a relation ship with the misguided notion that the guy just wants to bone her. If you tell her you love her then she will let her guard down, which drasticaly improves your chances of scoring. The best way to remeber this tip is: "She doesnt care if you mean it, she just wants to hear you say it".

• NEVER, under any circumstances EVER refer to her vag as a minge. It was awsome on South Park but their is no way to talk about it (minge) that is not awkward. If it comes up (minge) try to work it into the conversation in a context of innocent, subtel innuendo. For instance, in that one movie, they called it (minge) "the whispering eye". That sounds mysterious/exotic which chicks totaly dig.

• If / when you score, try too have video set up before hand because: A. The guys arent going to believe it otherwise, B. You might need it for evidence that your love was consentual and D. when you break up it makes a real good keep sake. Also be sure too send her a copy regardless if you break up or not.
  

More Community Service(s)

So I was totaly going to put up a post (blog) about How To Love A Woman which was a excellent sugestion by a ANONymous comenter here but while I was looking at information about how people are finding this (STNB(B) blog I found that another search: "What happens when a man jacks off" brought someone here.

Naturally I woudl like to be ranked higher with the "what-happens-when-a-man-jacks-off" demographic because STNB(B) blog is rapidly becoming more than just a think-tank for stopping neocons. It has become a really information clearing house. And progressive.

So as a educational service, here is what happens when a man jacks off.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MAN JACKS OFF

• 0:00-2:00 minutes: While browsing a "I can has cheeseburger" affiliated blog you see a sexily clad woman in a ad on the left side. Your brain makes you go and check out Sports Illustraded Extra Mustard because there are always lots of hot chick pictures there.
• 2:00-2:35 minutes: You discover that the cheerleader of the week, a rockin' hot girl named Lindsay Jacki has big bushy eyebrows not far removed from John Madden so you visit a internet pr0n site (not linked here...STNB(B) is a family blog)
• 2:35-3:15 minutes: You find your regular fall-back pr0n site and then while the video is loading, you take the dog out because the dog always interrupts.
• 3:15-4:00 minutes: You settle into your chair and loosen your belt. Then the phone rings, which totaly blows your pr0n buzz.
• 4:00-4:20 minutes: Doorbell.
• 4:20-5:20 minutes: You totaly have full-on wood.
• 5:20-5:50 minutes: Your hearing shuts down completely and your heart rate increases.
• 5:50-6:15 minutes: Because your now deaf you dont hear your mom come in the front door and you dont hear the sound of grocery bags being unloaded in your kitchen.
• 6:15-6:45 minutes: Your eyelids start to flutter and you focus your concentration into a narrow beam. Incidentaly this is where the term: "Keep Your Eyes On The Prize" comes from.
• 6:45-6:55 minutes: You fail to notice the faint knock followed by creaking sound of your bedroom door slowly opening.
• 6:55-7:05 minutes: You totally make a mess all over everything which seems okay at the time but when your cleaning up you always miss something and THAT is why you dont let your room mate use your computer. Also your hearing comes back and you hear a loud scream.
• 7:05-7:35 minutes: You order your mom out of your room because she didnt even knock.
• 7:35-next time: Your super embarassed because you always told your mom you dont do that. Also sometimes it may not be your mom. It could be worse (room mate, grandma, Kevin LaFontaine). You admit that you might have a problem and thing about getting some help but in the end its not worth the extra embarassment (seeing a psychiatrist, urologist, etc) of telling someone you did that. It is important for your psychological well-being to be consistent with your message that it wasnt what they think they saw. Remember deny, deny and deny.
• next time-forever: Although you swore to lock your door you will always forget to.

Community Service

I was reviewng information from this blog (Stop The Neocons Blog (Blog) about where people came from to get here and I discovered that one visitor to this blog got here by doing a google search about: "How to forget a woman".

Imagine to my dismay h ow I learned that this blogs tips on how to forget a woman wasnt even mentioned until page 86 of the results (in google search). So in a effort to help that segment of the population forget their woman and boost STNB blogs standing with the forget-a-woman demographic I am publishing this list of ways to forget a woman.

HOW TO FORGET A WOMAN

1. Get a little address book and put all of her information (name address phone number) in it because you always lose your address book.
2. Put her name on your calendar on her birthdate because its real easy to forget to flip the calendar pages at the start of every month and before you know it you are losing a whole month. Like if you look at my wall calendar right now, it still says Febuary.
3. You know that song that was playing on the radio that made her make out with you extra hard? Dont listen to it any more. Get a good angry song to replace it (like almost anything by Chris Caffery).
4. If you drive by her house every night after school or work to see if she is there or probaly at that other dudes house again, try to only drive by 5 times or less. Also dont park across the street. It bring up hurtful memories and may cause someone to think you are casing her joint.
5. By the same token if you know of a good tree to see into her back yard or upstairs window, remember that trees are hard to get out of in a hurry if the cops show up.
6. Start a blog not about her. For example: If you are trying to forget Jen, start a blog with any title but below the header put "this blog is not about Jen".
7. Prostitutes may help you forget about the woman you are trying to forget but skid row cooties lasts a long time and its not worth seeing your name on the news if you totaly get busted by SLCPD vice. On the other hand, prostitution is legal in Nevada.
8. If you have any pictures of her, throw them away but if you have pictures of her showing her rockin' tits or even ample cleavage please post here in comments or email them to me.
9. If you ever took a shower at her place content yourself with the knowledge that you pissed in her shower and she still doesnt even know. Thats a win for you but dont tell her because it will freak her out.
10. Try to only call her two or three times a day. Any more than that is weird and wont help you forget her any time soon.

Scheduled Live Blog: Earth Hour

On March 28 at 830pm to 930pm I plan to live blog Earth Hour to help raise awareness of Earth Hour.

So unless something comes up, I will do that according to plan.

Also, FYI, blogging will be light today while I get my life back in order.

Vile

Hate speech.

Wondering

I was just thinking: Is their any way Heath Ledger could win another Ocsar next year?

I think their was another movie he did before Mary-Kate Olsen murdered him.

If There is Any 40 Year old Chicks That Want to Hook Up, Please Email Me

A fascinating article here about 40+ women who become total nymphos.

AT 48, Philippa is vivacious, attractive and is having the best sex of her life. "It's quite wonderful," she says. "If you'd told me at 28 that this would be happening, I'd never have believed it."

But there's a catch. "It's great sex, but it's not with my husband. To be absolutely honest, he's the last man on the planet I'd want to have sex with."

Thats frickin' hot!

Philippa is by no means the only 40-something having a great time in the bedroom. In a survey of 2000 women carried out in Britain by Health Plus magazine, 77 per cent said that their sex life was at its best in their 40s; 82 per cent of that age group also said that sex was as important to them as it had ever been. Other surveys echo these conclusions — one carried out in the US, for instance, found that women in their 40s want to have sex more often than younger women.

Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A lot of women in their 40s seem to share this sense that they suddenly have time to indulge themselves. Having brought up their toddlers, they have more freedom to go out again and relax with their husband, their partner — or indeed, someone else entirely.

Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For Quilliam, another key factor in the 40s sexual peak is that this is the age at which we really start railing against the inevitability of death."The menopause rehearses our mortality," she says. "We have to face the fact that we're no longer able to have babies, no longer able to pass on life. We're losing our looks: it's a wake-up call to the fact that we won't go on forever, that one day in the no longer impossibly distant future, we're going to die.

And sex and death are very closely related. Put crudely, we f--- to prove we're alive."

Dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I mean HOLY SHIT!! Who Knew?


I do have to disagree with one part. That one chick from Heart (Chynna Phillips) is forty something and she is still SMOKING HOT.

Missed Appointment

I totally intended to participate in this great opportunity for community activism but I was not able to make it due to a appointment with my paroll officer. It was a long story which I have not yet told but whats most important to remember (morale of the story) is their is never a good reason to be at the park and naked, even if your so called friends set you up and then stole your clothes then laugh at you not being able to leave the rest room until after dark and a county sheriff "just happens" to drive by before you can run all the way home.

Public Service

Look. Lets say you went to the bathroom to tap a kidney (urban slang for pee (urinate) and while you were doing that you noticed a strong or foul odor coming from your urine. In olden days that would make you thing you had to much asparagus or garlic in your diet and you would just keep going. Well, I have news for you. It could be bad.

Strong or foul urine odor could be cause by any of these following ailments:

• urinary track infection (also cause bed wetting)
  
• cystitis (bacterial infection in your meat whistle)
• kidney infection (kidney dimples)
  
• menopause (mostly for women)
  
• prostatitis (means you have to have your pooper checked)

So be sure to see a doctor or obgyn as soon as possible if your urine stinks.